Podcast: Imposter Syndrome

By the Library Student Team

Library Student Team
7 min readJul 26, 2023
Imposter Syndrome podcast. You can read a transcript of the podcast below. mp3 version.

This is part of ‘Life at University’. In this podcast, Fariha and Durian from the Library Student Team discuss imposter syndrome, how to recognise it and what to do about it. Last updated July 2023.

TRANSCRIPT

Fariha: Hello everybody, I’m Fariha from the Library Student Team currently in my first year of studying Public Health and joining me today is Durian. How are you doing?

Durian: Hi, I’m doing good thanks. I’m Durian, a first year Environmental Science Student.

Fariha: Thanks for joining me today. Let’s dive right in to today’s podcast where we’ll discuss overcoming imposter syndrome, and the culture shock of starting at the University of Manchester. These are important topics as we strive to create inclusive spaces where everyone feels welcome and comfortable.

So, Durian, how do you feel about the pressures of being a student? Does it increase over time?

Durian: Yeah, absolutely, the pressure definitely increases over time. For me, I feel like many students experience the ‘week three slump’ where they hit a wall and feel demotivated. And it’s really interesting to see how everyone seems to hit that phase around the same time, like this sort of herd mentality. You tell someone you’re feeling down and then suddenly everyone’s going, yeah I feel exactly the same way.

Fariha: It could be because we go through the first semester, then have a break, and then there’s that big push for exams. So, at least for me that leaves me deflated for a while afterwards.

Durian: Yeah, it’s definitely, especially after the Christmas Break because it doesn’t feel like a break because our exams tend to be right afterwards so there’s no time to relax per se.

Fariha: You’re right and speaking of the uni, there are two main widening access schemes here: MAP which stands for the Manchester Access Programme, and MDAS, which is the Manchester Distance Accesss Scheme, designed for students who aren’t from Manchester.

Do you remember your experience with the scheme Durian, because you were on MDAS weren’t you?

Durian: Yeah, I remember MDAS, I remember the word scheme somewhere stuck in my head. There’s a course on Blackboard, and videos to watch, and quizzes and current topics similar to what you’d learn in like Foundation Year, and it’s even connected to second semester material of the first year for me.

And it’s kind of strange they make a big deal of being a deprived student to some extent and provide benefits like reduced offer. And I remember being really grateful for the opportunity but it can feel a bit weird in a way. I don’t know, I struggle to describe it in words but there’s this recurring discussion with these access programmes, how much focus we should place on these seemingly negative aspects and how it should be framed in terms of the university’s words.

So on one hand, it’s like they’re singling you out thinking “oh this person might not as well because of their background, so you know let’s give them a lower offer and additional work”. But, on the other hand, they recognise that despite your circumstances you have the potential and ability to succeed and this is why they take your context in to consideration and offer you the same opportunities as everyone else.

But it really depends on just how you frame it and look at it. And when it comes to university you might realise that your standards and experiences are different from others.

People might say that no one cares about your past education but, I don’t know, I feel like I can still feel it and you compare yourself to others at my school I was considered as one of the gifted students. And it’s just one of those little things that up over time and it just contributes to my imposter syndrome so much and you start to questioning yourself, you feel like you know nothing, and you just don’t have the same background or opportunities as others.

I don’t know, does that sort of resonate with you in a way?

Fariha: Yeah, it does, definitely. And it is interesting to hear your perspective as well because yours is kind of more like academic and grade-focused. But, from my side, I guess it was more about feeling like I didn’t fit in a cultural way. Like in college you have friends and you have that sense of belonging but you get to uni especially if you’re on a course where people aren’t similar to you it can be kind of isolating. Like for me, on my course, I don’t feel like my course mates can relate to most of my experiences and stuff.

Durian: Yeah, students often mention what they did in school and how they had these great teachers and opportunities but for me it was definitely really different. I had to focus on getting through the content and getting my grades and I didn’t have the luxury of developing a deep interest in the subject or exploring it further.

So, when it comes to culture and background, I sometimes do feel like a fake because I don’t have that extra knowledge or information. And I chose my course because I liked it and I thought it was cool and, you know, I just thought it was interesting and that’s as far as my thought process went really.

Fariha: Yeah, that’s really interesting.

Durian: Yeah, and I consider myself lucky because overall, my year group is pretty nice right now. And people don’t really act snobbish or nasty but it can still feel really alienating when they say something is easy because you should have learned it at GCSEs or A-Levels. And I had a really different experience with Maths at school, and those little comments just make you doubt so much.

But I remind myself that I come from a different background and the university recognised that I shouldn’t compare myself to those who had different opportunities and went to different kinds of schools and I should instead focus on my own progress.

Fariha: You mentioned imposter syndrome. Was there kind of like practical ways that manifested themselves in to how you acted in class or anything like that, because I remember for the first three months of my undergrad I barely spoke at all because I just found it quite hard to feel comfortable in the space and to express myself properly so how did that manifest for you?

Durian: I think during exam season I became quite unbearable. So like the night before an exam no matter how prepared I felt I was, I just fell apart and thought I knew nothing. And I also had this habit of joking about myself being stupid as a defence mechanism.

But maybe I should give myself more credit. I’m not necessarily quiet in class I do ask like a lot of questions, it’s just a way for me to cope with imposter syndrome.

I always feel like I’ve done something wrong, misread something or just have not done enough and so I always just ask questions and it is a reflection of how I perceive myself. I always assumed the fault was mine even if the lecturer didn’t explain something clearly and my question asking is heavily influenced by my imposter syndrome and it does affect all of the other areas of my life, including my work.

And I put a lot of pressure on myself and overload with work because I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything substantial.

Fariha: That completely makes sense and it’s interesting how the same issue can manifest differently and in different people. Like, for example, having a solid education or a different background can give some people confidence whilst for others it can make them doubt themselves. And it does affect things like speaking up in class and day-to-day stuff.

Durian: Yeah, definitely.

Fariha: Ok so, what do you think the uni can do to breach that gap?

Durian: I think the support services offered so far like counselling and mental health workshops at the Alan Gilbert Learning Commons (but at this point we just call it Ali G). They’re are really good starting points, but, they shouldn’t really be the end goal in my opinion. The university needs to be more actively involved.

For example, they could offer sessions to help with subjects like maths for STEM students who may not have done it since GCSEs, because I know many students, not just those from Widening Participation backgrounds, feel really overwhelmed by math, especially when we didn’t do it in our GCSEs because they were cancelled because of COVID. And offering such a support on a broader scale or having faculties providing it in a way that complements existing resources would be really beneficial. Because the first year aims to level the playing field but I always feel like I’m leagues below everyone else so doing this would help support more students enter university and beyond.

And there can also be initiatives benefitting widening participation students, without specifically calling them out and labelling them and the focus should be on understanding the challenges they face without solely defining them by their Widening Participation status.

Fariha: Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and thank you to everyone listening.

Remember, feelings of imposter syndrome are completely normal. You do deserve to be here at the University of Manchester and give yourself a round of applause for just even receiving an offer and doing so well already and we can’t wait to see you on campus.

See you soon!

--

--